Mind over Matter. Inner Beauty over Outer Beauty.

I just thought its high time I wrote about the difference between inner and outer beauty, as I’ve been having a headache since yesterday night. This is for all those fashionistas. I’m not looking down on anyone, but I’m just sad and concerned.

Why is the modern world so obsessed with looks, fashion, and everything related with external beauty? Why hasn’t the humankind realized that the answers to everything in life lies within, not outside. Yet people are obsessed with materialistic, plastic, fake, artificial culture. Is the world a better and happier place, because of all these lies and pretensions? No. Has modern science solved all the problems of world and brought world peace? No. So, why do people keep following it blindly and drown themselves more and more in materialistic culture? Why do people goto great length to get plastic surgery and risk their life, all to just look good? Disfigured people from accidents getting prosthesis is understandable. Why should we let others decide whether we are beautiful or not? Who are they to judge us? Don’t let others decide who you are.

Why are people so obsessed with image? And why do we goto great length to build the image? An image is not everything. An image is just the reflection of you. Its superficial. It’s not real u. So, we can change it anytime. But people gets trapped in their own image, and they let the image dictate their actions, and don’t do what they really want to do. They become trapped in their own mind. People do all sorts of things, like charities, so that their image is maintained. Of course, there are genuine people out there, but they are numbered. Corporations do charity for their image ie for public relations purpose, and gov’t do all of those, plus they do it primarily to get votes. Chinese gov’t goto the most extreme level. During the 2008 Beijing Olympics, for national anthem, they replaced a small avg looking girl but better singer with a prettier girl but avg vocal, just to show everything in china was perfect and beautiful. That was bizarre. Truth can hurt, but why can’t people have the courage to face the truth? Why do they keep running away from truth and take comfort in their image? We should be able to do what we want. We should be in control of our lives, not the others or our image.

We should do good not ‘cos we are supposed to do it or ‘cos our image requires us to do it. We should do good simply because we want to. We shouldn’t politicize it or make it complicated. We shouldn’t fake it. Sincerity has to be there. Self interest shouldn’t be involved. Listen to your heart and just be yourself. Our intention has to be pure, genuine and unconditional. We should not expect anything in return, not even thank you or any reward, as that will ruin the whole purpose of doing good. One has to believe in himself/herself and just keep doing the right thing.

His holiness has given countless lectures, emphasizing inner beauty over outer beauty. So why do people, especially tibetans, still don’t get it? Do they just listen from one ear and take it out from other? Were they dozing or busy texting while he was talking? People seriously need a healthy dose of his holiness advice and apply them.

Remember, its always mind over matter. Mental(long lasting) happiness over physical (materialistic and fleeting) happiness. Same thing with beauty. Inner beauty over outer beauty. Outer beauty, like cosmetics, plastic surgery, is only skin deep. Underneath, we are all same with ugly looking body parts, nerves, blood etc. But inner beauty, like compassion, kindness, generosity is much deeper, even infinite. Its pure and beautiful. Outer beauty is superficial.

Outer beauty is not the foundation to a healthy relationship, inner beauty is. Outer beauty is important, but only to a certain extent. Its not be all, end all. Outer beauty doesn’t determine the longevity of a relationship, inner beauty does. I too like pretty girls, but physical beauty plays only a small part in the early stages of relationship, after that and till the end, it all comes down to character or the personality. Of course, the ideal situation would be to have both. But no guy will want to stay forever with beautiful but neurotic girl. Men will use the girl and then ditch them after their lust is fulfilled. Modern world is ruled with self-interest.

External beauty only creates lust, which is temporary, and the success of relationship can’t be sustained on lust alone. Hence, it is equally important for everybody to focus more on inner beauty. When your inner beauty is strong, you no longer feel insecure, So, you don’t have to depend or cling on others to feel good. Instead, you will be able to spread happiness to others, who are still struggling with their insecurities. You’ll bond well with people, and have a healthier friendship with people. You are also likely to meet a better partner who can understand you better. In short, everything will be better and long lasting.

The pleasure we derive from material world is only temporary and fleeting. Its same with drugs. So, instead of craving fleeting happiness, why not desire eternal happiness? The world has enough problems, so we should find solutions to it, not become one more problem on the planet. so, lets not add ourselves to misery. Rather, focus on reducing it, as told by Sadhguru, the Indian Guru. We can root out self interest from the world by cultivating inner beauty.

Focusing on your inner development is most important. We’ve to live our own lives. No one else is going to live our life for us. Same thing with Tibet. We’ve to fight our own cause. No one else is going to fight for us. They will only support. Our life should be an asset, not a liability. People won’t always be there to support us, as they will have their own things to do.

There are many factors vital to a healthy relationship, which have mostly to do with the characteristics of persons, such as trust, honesty, sincerity, etc. These qualities help in forging a deep bond, not lust. Of course, things don’t change overnight, but people should try and persevere. No harm in putting a genuine effort. Nothing is impossible. I’m still a work in progress, but I’ll continue to strive for inner development.

I’ve now got this habit of posting youtube video to back my point. I found this exact video that I was looking for. This is His Holiness Dalai lama speaking at “We Day” at Vancouver 2009 organized by Free the Children organization. Among other things, he talks about inner beauty. So, enjoy and learn.


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